Modest Mom

Ok, I'm not sure how to organize this post to make it coherent and make it all make sense to you, but these thoughts have been running through my head lately. A couple of things probably triggered them, so I'll explain those things as well. First off, this is about dressing appropriately and modestly. Not like a hooker advertising the goods for the world to see. As you recall, I took T, along with some other moms and their girls to the Secret Keepers event which talked to young girls about body image and dressing modestly. When dressing myself for this event I wanted to make sure I was setting the right example too. And I began to think to myself, if some of my clothes in my closet wouldn't be the wisest choice to wear for this event, why are they in my closet in the first place? Now don't get me wrong, I don't think you've ever seen me wearing something "way out there", but some tops are cut a little lower than others so u have to be careful bending over and such (I wish they weren't, but that's the way they are made, so I deal with it. Usually a tank underneath solves it, but even the tank isn't as high as I would prefer it to be, so I wind up "pulling it up" in the front throughout the day to make sure I'm not showing any of my (almost nonexistant) cleavage (ha ha). Anyway, one thing the lady mentioned at the even was that if we raise our arms our tummy shouldn't show-gosh, all my t-shirts show my tummy if I lift my arms! and they are simple v-neck or crew neck solid colored T's. They aren't super short, but they do "lift". I honestly don't like layering clothes, so I'm not one to wear a really long cotton tank underneath (which would probably solve this--also solves the lowrise jean issue for all those out there who wear those). But I'm thinking to myself, gosh I'm not even meeting the criteria that I am hoping my daughter follows.

Then my friend Jen (I forgot how to do the link to show u her website) posted a comment about dressing your age and dressing "hip". So again it got me thinking about it. Lots of things in stores are cut "sexy-ish" instead of simply cut normal. So whatever u buy it often has this cleavage problem.

Then I changed my photo on Facebook with a funny shot W had taken of me. I didn't think it was sexy, infact, it was kinda goofy because my 3yr old took the shot and I was doing a "model pose". Well , anyway, someone commented that it was sexy, then my friend/brother, Chris said the same thing to me and he's like "I shouldn't look at a picture of Rene' and think its sexy, that's just wrong". He's right. I was embarrassed that it came across that way. (By the way, after the first friend commented, I changed the photo). I don't want to be "advertising" a "sex symbol" mentality to anyone. [Now don't get me wrong, I don't have a big head thinking I'm all sex goddess of the world or anything-not at all!] But my point is, its good to be sexy. But I think you should be sexy for your spouse... in private. Not for the world to see. I believe that whatever is under your clothes is for your spouse to enjoy, not for the world to look at and then consequently think about. In fact, here is an example... I used to enjoy watching Nick and Jessica on the Newlywed Show. I liked Nick alot because he reminded me of my husband Dan. He seemed down to earth and pretty basic--I especially liked the episode where he tried to rid their yard of bees himself instead of hiring a exterminator-hilarious! Anyway, when I saw some of the horribly revealing outfits Jessica would wear to red carpet events with him on her arm (and her boobs hanging out for EVERYONE to see), I lost respect for him. Because my thought was this. .. This is your wife. You should want to protect the private areas of your life that are just for the two of you. Not for the whole world to see and drool over. He seemed to like the fact that his wife's boobs were garnering so much attention-like it made him a better man for "catching" the prize. But I thought it just showed poor taste in that instead of keeping that part of her body for "his eyes only", he and her were galantly showing everyone.

So this is my point, I don't want to portray an image that causes anyone besides my husband to think anything about me, except that I am a wife, mom, and person. Not one of those "whoa, double take" moments like when I saw Jessica. Even if another woman sees a lady's boobs hanging out, you are like "whoa". I just think it should be kept between husband and wife the way I believe God planned it. We are to be a pleasure to each other. Two become one.

It also seems that I usually don't have a problem with this, but sometimes if I am around ladies who dress a little bit sexy I start to feel frumpy so then I start dressing a little bit more revealing. Wrong I'm sure. I don't want my girls to think its ok to wear a "playboy bunny" outfit for a costume party (for example) instead of something (ANYTHING) that would not be advertising. I'm sorry, but I think swimsuits are for swimming , not wearing out and around. Gymnasts wear leotards in the gym, not to the mall. Get my point.

So I want to set the example to dress appropriately, so that when my daughters get older and are more influenced (probably) by society's fashion, that they can still be cute without being revealing. I hope I do the right thing. They seem to already be aware because at home when I am tucking them in at night and wearing my nightgown they have commented "isn't that short?" (it goes to my mid thigh!) My thought was, gosh I'm at home, no one is seeing me but my family (and I don't have sons!) this shouldn't be a big deal. But it seems like I need to wear a robe or something because even in my nightgown I think they are learning that it shows too much(for public of course) I just didn't think it showed too much for home. Guess I've got something to learn. Anyway, so these are my confusing thoughts for the last several days... setting a good example and being happy and comfortable with my ensemble, not trying to "keep up" with the rest of society who are "showing it off", and all the while still being fashionable and not dowdy. I know it can be done, I guess I just need to make a better effort at it, and only buy things that really fit my "modest style" instead of caving in and buying stuff that isn't as high-cut as I would prefer it to be, just because I think its the only thing out there. I bet if I keep looking , I'll find the stuff I'm looking for and won't have to alter my principles in the process.