My heart is to help

I really get a huge sense of joy from helping others. It touches me so much and makes me so happy that it almost always brings tears to my eyes when I think about it, or when I am face to face with a 'helping' situation. My daughter, T, is constantly saying to me "Mom, are you crying AGAIN?"  And I'm like "yes, honey, it just really touches my heart and I'm so happy to be able to be a part of bringing some joy or comfort to someone in need". She thinks its weird that I cry. But it really gets me. I think about how it must feel to be in whatever situation I am encountering, and how I am so happy to be able to help, and it just makes me cry. 

 Every time.

I can often do something and 'just do it' without putting too much thought into it (not meaning it doesn't mean anything to me, but meaning that I often try to do it without 'thinking' about it too much, so that I WON'T cry). But then that person may thank me or I'll start thinking about it later, and there ya go, my eyes start welling up.

Dan teases me that the only reason I want us to 'make more money' is so that I can give it away. And it's actually true. I think you are being selfish if you only want to make enough "to get by, and take care of yourself". I don't want to do that. I want to make MORE than enough to take care of myself, so that I can help take care of others as well. This feeling has been with me since I was a little kid. I remember making a conscious choice when I was in junior high or maybe 9th grade...

I wanted to help people and my choice was...

Do I get a job with a non-profit company and work my tail off trying to make a difference, probably spending a lot of my time begging corporations and successful people for donations.

OR

Do I go get one of those successful jobs with a corporation MYSELF, and then use my own resources to help others.

I chose the latter.

I will tell you one of the main reasons I chose the latter is because I don't like feeling indebted to anyone or anything and I don't like begging for anything either. Even if someone offered me a piece of gum in school, I felt like I owed them and I needed to repay them a piece of gum in the future. (Silly I'm sure. I should be able to receive a gift, but that's how I felt.) I'm better now about accepting things like that, but at the time it definately had a factor in my decision. So since my decision was made early on, I worked towards achieving it. We have been very blessed over the years and I am so thankful to God for those blessings because it allows me resources to share His love with others. Because I like giving so much, I probably give too much to my kids. No they don't get every expensive gadget on the market, in fact, I won't and haven't, bought them any cell phones, wii, video games, ipods, computers, or even Nintendo DS's, even though lots of kids their age have them. But they have a million toys and clothes. And have gone on more vacations and fancy restaurants than Dan and I (combined) ever did when we were 20. And they are only 5 and 9! Sooo, I am always trying to teach them to value the dollar, and to appreciate what they have. That they have toys to play with, shoes to wear, and a warm bed to sleep in at night. Not everybody does, and they need to be THANKFUL instead of pouting when I tell them 'no' about something. This is an ONGOING discussion because unfortunately it hasn't quite sunk in yet (at least not with our older one, because she is still the queen of pout). I share all this to say that this past weekend we had an opportunity to join with the Blue Star Mothers (http://www.bluestarmothers.org/) and pack boxes that were being sent to the troops overseas. When I reminded them what we were to be doing that weekend and what it was for, T immediately began complaining "why do we have to do that, we went and helped those boys last weekend" (actually it was TWO weekends ago that we went and helped with the Christmas gift distribution at the Indian School,and if I need to remind you it was worthwhile and wonderful to help, right?!) Well, she wasn't bought into it. She was just complaining that we were spending our Saturday doing this. I kept talking to her about how the men and women are fighting for our freedom and they are away from their families and how much they will probably enjoy receiving a package from 'home', and if her daddy was over there doesn't she think it would be nice if people did this for him?  She eventually stopped complaining but I could tell wasn't really excited about it until I said her friend B could come with us. Well, that changed everything.  So we headed over there and spent about 3 hours helping pack boxes while T and the younger kids wrote letters and drew pictures to send to the soldiers as well. Afterwards I asked her what she thought and how she liked it. What a joy to hear a completely 180 out of her! She was so happy and overjoyed about what we had partaken in that day, it was so nice to see. I personally was very touched (again those tears welling up-I can't help it!) and am really glad we found out about this new way to help. I 've attached a few pictures from that day- you know I always have a camera!

Our group with some of the Blue Star Mothers volunteers. Delores (in the red, standing) was a doll! Those are some of the boxes ready to ship.



P, T, and B writing letters and drawing pictures to include in the boxes.

I also found out while I was there that they had moved to this location about a year ago and this was the first location where they didn't have to pay for rent or utilities. The corporation that owned the building gave them the whole 5th floor free of charge (just phone bill). What a blessing! (Again, the tears came up when I heard this )   I love it when those with the ability to do so, actually DO something with it and help. What a great gift! Now they have more money to use on boxes and more soldiers can be reached because they aren't having to pay for rent or utilities. That's just wonderful! Anyway, I don't know why I wrote this post except to say that I am so happy to be able to help and it gives me such a sense of joy and happiness, so much so that it makes me cry ;)  It really is true that its better to give than to receive. At least for me anyway.
In fact, all day I have been trying to devise a plan of how I can bless a particular family anonymously and not have it tracked back to me. Ha ha, this probably sounds silly. But I just want to do it, but I don't really want to be known. I just want them to receive it and reap the benefits of that gift. So I guess I'm off to figure out how to take care of that because I'd really like to get it accomplished before Christmas if possible. My husband will probably give me some grief  and tease me about it when he finds out, but the truth is he's just like me. I'm so blessed to be married to someone who has the same philosopy I have about giving and helping others :)  Being on the same page about your household, child-rearing, and finances with your spouse is such a blessing. I love him!!!!