How did I get here?

Do I write this post on my "Guides 4 Life" blog, or this blog? It applies to both, but since I'm not going to quote scripture (although I certainly could on this topic because there are lots that apply), I'm going to post it here.



Today a really good friend of mine posed a question about spending money when u really don't have the money to spend. She is currently doing the Dave Ramsey program, and just started it, so is in the hardest stage of it (getting used to working within your budget, and therefore working with less). I don't think she would be offended that I was inspired by her question to write this post. (She is very open with all her friends about what she is trying to accomplish and how hard that is). So I am going to give credit where credit is due. She got me thinking about my own journey with finances, and got me wondering where it came from. What made me make the choices I've made regarding finances and standards of living? I looked back and came up with some examples and some answers so I thought I'd share them.



First off, I guess you should know, I don't believe in debt. Never have. Don't like it period. It makes me insane thinking of the money wasted on interest for anything.Financially speaking though, I do have a mortgage and I have had student loans and car loans in the past (and even a pool loan if u read that post-I think that was on the Guides Blog), but I've never fallen into the trap of what is referred to as "consumer debt" or credit cards. (Yes, for clarification I have carried a balance on a credit card 2 times, both for about one billing cycle-and it made me MAD at the interest I wasted). So this information is coming from someone who not only 'talks the talk, but does indeed walk the walk' of living within your means and not being swallowed by debt.



But I wonder, why me, who came smack dab in the middle of a generation of people who are wallowing in debt, was I able to not fall in that trap. I came up with a couple reasons.

One being,(as you've probably already guessed) I'm CHEAP and don't like to waste money on anything, ESPECIALLY interest!

Yea, but you say, what about the 'I want it now' mentality that has gripped our nation?

Well, my answer to that I guess goes back to my parents.

My parents NEVER bought something they couldn't pay for. They had a (get that "A" one, uno, credit card) that they didn't even carry with them, it was in a safe place at home only to be used for airline tickets or things u couldn't pay for in person. They always payed with cash or check (checks were big back then, now everyone uses debit cards, but unfortunately that has opened a door for MORE problems for a lot of people).

I remember as a very young kid one time asking my mom how she could pay for something with a check (it didn't look like money), and she said it was received by the store just like money. I said to her" well, heck, why don't u buy everything with these checks that are miracle money?" and she laughed and explained that well u actually had to have real money in the bank to back up the amount u were writing on the paper check.

'Ooohhhh'

My first finance lesson. Didn't know it at the time. But it sunk in and made an impression.

You have to be responsible for what you do. If you don't have the money saved, you can't write the check.

That became the whole basis of my life with finances. It remains to this day.

Good teaching I'd say, even though we weren't having an official lesson, she still taught me great things by example. Which is really the way it should be with everything, don't you agree? It certainly makes a stronger, more lasting impression.

I need to thank her some day for that, because truly my parents' example to me of living within your own means has been the foundation for my financial choices in life.



Now, not everything is perfect, so I'd like to share a moment in time that also was a great learning experience for me.

I was in college. (I paid for college myself with student loans, work-studies, and scholarships. I didn't work during the semester, but during breaks I had jobs. I saved my money from these summer jobs to carry me through with 'spending money' for the school year). Well, one year my checkbook was getting pretty low. It just kept getting lower and lower and lower and I had no income boosting it back up. Problem was, my mom's birthday was also coming up. I didn't know what to get her so I decided to take her out to dinner at a nice Italian restaurant, just her and me, to spend some time together.

This is the ONE time in my life I bought something and I wasn't sure I'd have the money to pay for. I took her to dinner, and I knew I only had like $20 or something REALLY small left in my account. So I remember going there and ordering a side salad for myself because I'm trying to keep this bill under the amount that I have left. I remember sitting there watching my mom peruse the menu and thinking to myself how UNCOMFORTABLE I felt knowing I might not have enough money to pay for this. What am I going to do? I didn't tell her about my situation, I wanted to give this to her, and I wanted her to pick whatever she wanted from the menu. She must have just been being thoughtful to her broke college student daughter because she DIDN'T order steak or lobster or anything extreme. Whatever she ordered I wound up having enough to cover, but it wiped out my account until I went back to work a few months later. (Fortunately, while at school we didn't HAVE to spend virtually anything on blowmoney, because our college was in the middle of nowhere so u weren't very tempted to go out and spend money unless u drove to the next town or city-and since I was out of money, I didn't leave the campus for the next 2 months till I went home and earned some money on the next break).

So my point is this... I remember how AWEFUL it felt to possibly not be able to afford something, yet still be doing it. I guess if my mom had ordered something I couldn't afford I would have had to tell her that she was going to have to pitch in to pay the bill for HER birthday present, but fortunately I didn't have to tell her that because I was able to pay for it. But for those minutes leading up to her placing her order, I didn't know if I could pay for it or not, and it scared me. I did NOT like the feeling. I vowed to never feel like that again, and I never have. I simply don't do things I can't afford.

I've written this before on other blog posts, but that meant that when I was a newly hired person out of college, just starting my career path, I didn't have clothes as nice and stylish as my coworkers. In fact I wore the same 5 skirts and 5 blouses to work every week for a very long time until I could start buying some more work clothes from my paychecks. My husband and I didn't go on vacations even though all my co-workers were heading to the islands. Our first real vacation was actually a cruise he won at his work-it was awesome. But it was free! I brown-bagged my lunch instead of eating out with my co-workers at restaurants. I didn't go to baby showers for co-workers when I first started working there because I simply didn't have the money to buy a gift. I finally DID go to my boss's wife's shower (he was my BOSS ya know), but I only spent $5 on a picture frame, that I thought was a good gift bc he could put a picture of the baby on his desk. It was functional yet fit in my budget. I remember a coworker asking what I'd bought her, after she'd just shown me ALL the stuff she'd bought, and I said the picture frame (remember u just saw me buy it?!) and she didn't say anything and I know she was taken aback thinking I probably should have bought more. But u know what ? I didn't care what she thought. I knew what I could afford. All these co-workers that I've talked about with the manicures and fancy clothes and vacations, and expensive cars.... ALL had credit card debt! I had NONE. I still have none. Its a lifestyle choice. So yes, to live this way, you may have to go through a period where u aren't doing what everyone else is doing. But u know what? You probably don't want to be doing what they are doing, because as we are now becoming to learn, most of America is living BEYOND their means, not WITHIN them. Believe me, its a lot happier and less stressful to live within them. Even that brief experience I had with my mom at the restaurant was enough to teach me, I don't want to live like that. I don't want to be in a situation where I am doing something I shouldn't be doing because I can't afford to pay for it.

You want to know why it was so easy for me to not do the things my co-workers were doing? Because I really don't care what other people think of me.

Sounds harsh but its true. I'm not going to waste my time messing up my life worrying about how other people perceive me. I can have a mighty fine and fun-filled time on my own without trying to impress someone else. My family is important to me and my walk with God is important to me. If I'm doing right on both those fronts, then I don't really care what anyone else says or thinks.

Sometimes, we need to get focused back on what's important in our lives, our health, family, and relationship with God, instead of worrying about everyone else out there who, honestly, aren't nearly as important as our health,family, and God.

I don't know if anyone will get anything from this post that can help them. Hopefully someone will, because if anything, following a positive example is certainly a way to learn right from wrong. I learned it from my parents, and hopefully I'm setting many positive examples for MY children in ALL areas, not just debt. So beyond this, I guess I'd like to give a public thank you to my parents for setting the right example for me in this area. Thanks! I certainly appreciate the foundation it set for me which in turn guided my choices through the years. Hopefully others can make these same choices.